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Canine Colloquies

3/3/2013

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Dear Author-dude, Dog here.  I read your previous article on "Whither the Physical".   Not bad.  However, allow me to take time out from managing the local goose population up at the park for a minute to respond.

First of all, some never have had the dusty fond memories you talk about.  A vinyl LP?  What in the world do you speak of?  Are those the things in the back room you never take out anymore but which we can't get rid of?

Second, I will 'second' your comment on new books.  I love pulling down your copies of books and opening them before you do.  Some are great reads.  Others are better as chew toys.  By the way, the youngest dog is clever enough to chew on the part of the book facing away from you on the shelf, so you won't see the damage when she puts the book back.   Sometimes we don't give her enough credit.

Third, an adult observation here that I noticed while up  watching some late night television.  Does an e-cigarette count as something physical?  I was thinking we could put it in a category of 'false physical'.  It certainly isn't the same as smoking a cigar with your friend on the back deck after a long day at work, you on your computer, me with the local flora and fauna.   And then, I hate to bring it up, but love: is that physical anymore?  Seems to me all this computer stuff for, um, love...well, enough said there.  Us dogs, we could never properly check out someone new without using our nose you know.  And give me a good stranger's leg to hump in the living room so that I can embarrass you, I'll take that anyday over the computer stuff.

Lastly, it's this whole thing of how people do things now.  Look, I go out a lot, as far as you let me within the jail that is the fenced-in yard, that is.  I get exercise and I see the sun within your attempt at a miniature nature preserve, minus the nature.  My nose is to the ground learning about the world, nonetheless.  Learning about what that sneak squirrel is up to, or if padfoot rabbit's been out and about in the yard.  You humans...all the world's at your fingertips, sure, catalogued for you nicely in an amage.  So you stay inside.  Not only do you lose out on cataloging things differently from first-hand experience, but you get issues with eye strain, back pains, and lack of exercise.  You ought to be taking me out on walks more often to discover the world first-hand, so you can get gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe, or I can eat the gum you don't step on, as if anyone is outside enough to spit gum out on the sidewalk anymore.   Now THERE'S a lost physical pleasure.  The point is, you can catalog that in better writing from real-world experience.  I'll be happy to lend my witty tongue to the process.

Just a dog's take on things physical versus things made of bits and bytes.  You should have brought this up for the book, you know.   Dog signing off for now.  Work calls.
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    I have been writing for a long time...but recently became serious about it due to Scribd, where I have over 1,200 followers and over 170,000 readings of over 100 pieces.  Links to some of those on the relevant pages on this site.

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